Usually the whole “new year, new me” jargon annoys me. But I’ve found that, this year, it rings true. My life completely transformed in the space of twelve months. I got engaged – two days later, I left England and spent four months without my fiancé before he came to America to live with me for five months. We had our first legal drinks in the States, went hiking, took road trips, ate too much fried food. I graduated college after two years and eleven months, got married, started my Master’s degree, and moved permanently to England. And we got a kitten. Lots of big life changes in a short span of time.
The most painful part of the year, I think, was cutting ties with many people I used to call family and friends back in the States. My symbolic scissors damn near snapped. As the year draws nearer to its close, I’ve found that these people have been on my mind a lot lately – too much, actually.
This morning, as I was thinking about a conversation I had with my sister last night, I made a decision. I spend too much time and energy missing people who no longer exist and too little on myself and the wonderful family who loves me. I dedicate my brainpower to people who never gave my feelings any sort of consideration in the first place, to people I will never see again.
And so today, on the last day of 2015, I have one final thing to say to those people: Thank you for screwing me over. Thank you for taking advantage of my kindness and naivety. Thank you for showing me your true colours. I am a stronger woman for it, and for realising that I am better off without you and people like you. I will not leave you in 2015; that would mean keeping a place for you in my life where there is none. I will erase you completely. To me, it will be like you never even existed.
And with that, I bid you all adieu. Have fun spending yet another year in the same town, hanging out with the same people, living the same day 365 times. Meanwhile I know how I’m going to spend my new year. I’ll host a second wedding ceremony, go on a second honeymoon, earn a second college degree at the age of 22. I might even publish my first book. I’ll start my career and move into my first house with my husband and cat. I’ll visit new countries, eat new foods, learn new skills and try new things. And best of all? I’ll do it all while living 4,000 miles away from your negativity, drama, and bad life choices.
New year, new me. New friends, new places, new experiences. I’ve never been more excited to close a chapter of my life, or to welcome a brand new one.