My work

What Should I Do with My Life?!

Today’s post is more of a crisis-infused rant than a proper blog post.

For perhaps the eighth time since I started thinking about my career path, I am once again clueless as to what I’d like to *do* with the rest of my life.

I once read somewhere that everyone has a little ‘save the world’ in them. I know this is certainly true for me, and it’s been bugging me as I prepare to leave academia as a traditional student and go out into the ‘real’ world. I’ve been feeling crushed lately, knowing that my ‘talent’ of writing isn’t going to help anyone in a real world sense.

Lately, I’ve been reading Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Dr Yuval Harari. It focuses  on imagined realities and the rise of Homo sapiens. Dr Harari posits that we are able to control the world because of our ability to create fiction. Not fiction in the traditional novel sense – fiction like gods, corporations, money, nations. If everything we’ve ever known, if every aspect of our lives is pure fiction, and I’m good at creating fiction, then in theory, I really have the noblest profession.

But I don’t feel like I do. Most recently, I wanted to write for video games, until I realised that it’s not gonna help solve any of the very real problems our planet is facing. Before that, I wanted to teach English at university, until I realised my hatred of the traditional education system and the horrors academia would wreak on the family life I want to have. Before that, I wanted to be a journalist, until I realised how depressed I’d be reporting the atrocities in this world day after day. And before that, I wanted to be a novelist, until I realised that I’d never make enough money to survive.

So here I am, the girl who’s always had a plan – or at least been able to create a new plan at a moment’s notice – without a clue where I want to go or what I want to do.

This book has given me an inkling, though. I’ve always felt tied to academia in a sense, and I have a great interest in sociology and the history of humanity. Perhaps I could do some research similar to Dr Harari’s, maybe write some journal articles. I may well end up in academia after all, but I hope that it’s in the form of some open internet course or as an independent researcher.

If Dr Harari has taught me anything, it’s that I can’t ever have all the answers, and that this life we know is essentially a figment of our imagination anyway. Maybe I shouldn’t even worry about it. What I really want to do is move to a rural area, grow a nice little garden, and provide for the family I eventually want. That would be enough for me, and maybe that’s the goal I need to work toward.

If you stumbled onto this post by some strange coincidence, then I’m sorry. I’m just thinking out loud, as it were. And I welcome any suggestions you guys might have – I’m stumped.

Also please forgive the corny picture, I just needed something, haha.

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4 thoughts on “What Should I Do with My Life?!

  1. It sounds like you’re thinking through the choices you can see now. That’s the logical second step. The first was to get an education in the thing you felt an affinity for. As someone who didn’t, I can tell you that when the right profession comes to you (or you invent it) you’ll be ready and able to prove that readiness to possible employers, if need be.

    Your eyes and ears are aready open. I can’t tell you how important that is. Sounds to me like you’ll do all right. 🙂

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    • Yeah, I have no doubt. Things seem to always work out for me, and I always work hard toward my goals. I just tend to get panicky when I feel the life jacket has slipped off and the water’s only getting deeper from here…

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  2. I so feel this post! It’s like your mind is spinning so fast and you can’t keep up with all the different ideas you have. This whole year has been like that for me. Meditation has really worked for me to help slow down and think. But really all the comfort I can give is you’re not alone. Thanks for the great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yep, it’s so frustrating! Of course, the general state of the world doesn’t help matters much. I’m still in the process of figuring it out. And yes, I agree that meditation is a godsend! It’s definitely helped reduce my panic and I feel that I can see more of the big picture now. And no problem — it’s my pleasure. Thanks for the great comment!

      Liked by 1 person

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